How To Win Back Your Long Distance Boyfriend When He Is Dating Someone Else

November 14, 2010 by
Filed under: Long Distance Breakup 

When your long distance relationship partner wants a break up, you may feel desperate as if it was over. But frankly, there is a way to get your ex back even if you were in a long distance relationship. Here is an email I got from a subscriber. If your situation is anything like this one, you can get back together with your long distance relationship partner if you know the right steps to take to get them back.

Hi there, Greetings from Singapore.
 
My name is Julia. I live in Singapore. My exboyfriends lives in New York. We knew each other through online dating.  We have been in a relationship of over 3 1/2 years. I flew up to the States to meet him on many occasions.
 
He introduced me to his family and friends as his girlfriend and he wanted to settled down with me in the future. He even asked me once to go to the Justice of the Peace and get married to him. Reason being is that he was afraid of losing me and that he wanted me to permantely be able to live in the U.S as his wife.
 
We are soul mates and got along very well with hardly any misunderstandings and arguments.  We had broken up a few times but he always came back to me and made up with all the apologizes.
 
But this time round in June this year during my visit with him, everything was going great and he said he did not want me to leave again and we will work our way through with me staying in the States, getting a job, etc.
 
The unforeseen horrible events happened. Shortly a few days upon my arrival, I had a serious accident and sustained head injuries which almost caused my life.
He felt guilty about this because when the accident occured, he was not around. He also felt guilty that it was his duty to protect me and nuture me and provide for me. Shortly after the accident, came the huge hospital bill that the both of us could not  pay. He found out a few days later that he had lost his job and the new job that he applied for had rejected him because of his anxiety/depression history in the past.
 
In light of all of this, his parents suddenly fled that my boyfriend being in a  relationship with me was too much for him to handle, the distant relationship, the problems of getting me to stay permanently, immigrations problems. Furthermore, I just went through a divorce from a long married of abuse. I never got a dime from the divorce or anything. I was constrained to working from my ex husband, so I was out of the field of over 27 years of no working experience or any savings.
 
This all took into consideration with his parents, not my ex boyfriend for he did not care. He felt that with his savings and the new job if he got it, he would still be able to provide for the both of us. He really wanted to settle down, although in his past relationships with other women it all did not work out.
 
To cut the story short, he suddenly broke up with me while I was still recovering from my head injury with bruises, stitches and everything else. He said to me
Julia you are a wonderful person, but we are not compatible, I am sorry that I  led you on. He had said this to me in our other break up before and came back and aplogized. But this time he is sticking with the break up.
 
Right after the break up he broke down sobbing and saying that he truly loves me and that he does not know of how to get over the memories of me. He even said that he feels guilty and bad about the accident and also the fact that my ex husband treated me bad and now he is doing the same thing to me.
 
His mother abused him as a child and till today although he does not like his mother and hates her yet he is afraid of her and tries to be nice to her. Anyway, now that he has broken up with me and 2 months back after I returned back to Singapore.
 
He asked for us to remain friends and that we should keep the contact like it was before. When I got back we were enstrange in keeping the contact and then
we were chatting with each other almost everyday. He said that he wanted to repair  the relationship, he said that he was sad and angry but did not elaborate.
Although I told him that from his decision and along with others meaning his family to break off with me, I had accepted. He was surprised and said, still
this is unfair and he was going to save as much for the future and wanted me still in his future.
 
Slowly after this his parents knew that he was still in contact with me.
God know what he said to them or they to him. He started immediately drifting away from me. He is giving excuses that he is too busy to stay
in touch.
 
I found out right after the break up, he went online dating. He has already found him a new girlfriend and he seems sweet and very interested in her that he has already arranged for his mother, friends to meet her next week.
 
I can tell that he is pushing the relationships too swiftly with a indirect commiittement and telling that that he hope their relationship together would progress further.
 
I had decided to stop all contact with him completely. It hurts too much to continue the contact knowingly he he is with someone else. I just hope that the love he has for me in the past still lingers on. He became jealous and more possesive when he found out that i was getting my life together in getting a temp job which entails interacting with others at the airport as it is my job. He became to tell me to take up a Nanny job, or work as a care giver or a housekeeper, or cleaning floors anything but a decent job than the ones he chose for me. He does not want me to interact with normal people afraid now that i am single again i could fall for anyone.
 
So you see my ex is so different from others, He worries too much, he is a Scientist and this makes him very analytical. He is so very insecured has fears and doubts the whole nine yards.
 
I know that he is very surprised that i immediately stopped all contact with me although he was the last one to respond by email stating that he was busy,etc and he ended off his email formal instead of love, russell.
 
I feel that i have lost him completely and dont know what else to do. I cant forget him and i know that he still loves me. Although he is still with this girl he is somewhat looking elsewhere on line without her knowledge.
 
So please tell me what he is thinking and knowing the future for his job although he got the job now that he wanted, he has only been with it for almost 3 months. So where do i stand with the future and me?
Where do I stand with his new girl or other women? Does he truly love me and the circumstances that led to the break up is surreal.
 
Please advice
Julia

Hi Julia,

When you are involved in a long distance relationship there are certain things you must do in order to make your long distance relationship work.

A long distance relationship does not have to be a struggle.

You can fix your broken long distance relationship when you have a plan and follow that plan precisely.

This plan includes keeping frequent communication, building trust, and making plans for the future with your long distance partner.

I have outlined the plan on getting back with your long distance ex on hundreds of pages which you can download instantly on your computer.

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