How To Build Trust In A Long Distance Relationship

November 4, 2010 by
Filed under: Long Distance Relationship Advice 

Building trust in a long distance relationship can be very difficult depending on the circumstances. If one partner had an affair while living far away from the other, then it may take several years to build trust in a relationship.  It can be done and marriages survive affairs but it will take time. The person who had the affair will need to apologize to his/her partner and then be prepared for that person to learn to trust them again.

But trust is something that needs to be built up in every partnership, and in a long distance relationship even more so. After all you are going to share your life with this other person when you two can be together again so you need to know that they share the same values as you do. If you are trying to build mutual reliance there are several ways of doing this:

1) Make sure your words and actions match. If you say you are going to be home at a certain time, then make sure you are or else phone in advance to explain why. It is the little gestures that define who we are.

2) Always tell the truth no matter how painful. Lies destroy every type of relationship from friendships through to marriage. Telling the truth isn’t always the easy option but it is the safest. If your partner knows that you always tell the truth, they will trust you much quicker. If they hear you telling lies to others, even those that you dismiss as being small or white lies, they will have less belief in you.

3) Do not keep secrets when in a relationship. Now I don’t mean that you have to tell your new boyfriend or girlfriend your deepest secrets but as soon as the relationship looks like it is becoming serious, it is a good time to make sure that any relevant history is out in the open. 

4) You need to have faith in your long distance partner before expecting them to return that trust. If you have to text them morning and night wondering where they are and who they are with, they are likely to think you have something to hide.

5) Don’t be unrealistic. All long distance relationships have issues. You need to accept that being apart is a part of the deal and if you are committed to making your relationship work you must be prepared to handle the distance in your relationship. If you bolt at the first sign of trouble, your partner is never likely to trust you.

6) Finally rely on yourself to do the right thing. You must first know yourself and trust in your ability to make the right choices before you can trust anyone else. It is easy to give in to temptations when your partner is far away from you. You can get lonely and may want to accept an innocent date invitations from someone else. But you have to know what your own goals and aspirations are in life before you can share a meaningful existence with someone else. Somebody with a defined sense of values is more likely to trust another person as they will quickly recognize these similar values.

All good relationships are built on a number of factors so learn how to build trust in your long distance relationship now to increase your chance of success.



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